Oh, Good Lord...
I just got back from attending my dad's 60th birthday party in Los Angeles to discover that winter has descended upon New York like a piano falling out of a 50-story building. What the hell? When I left here I'm pretty sure it was still t-shirt weather. I guess I can't trust this city to look after itself in my absence. Next time I'm hiring a baby-sitter.
In honor of my dad, I'm going to do something that my dad always does which is tell a slightly boring story that ends with me saying something that made people laugh, even if it isn't as funny in the recounting. The point of the story being that I can be hilarious, even if my telling this story seems somehow to disprove that.
Anyway, on route to the party my mom warned me that I may have to give a toast. I'm not exactly shy but I'm still not a fan of public speaking. Happily, after a few vodka and cranberry mixers I had overcome my fear and picked up the microphone following the least-funny toast of the evening (it's all about timing--thanks Grandma Lucille!) and delivered a short roast that began with, "Well, Dad, I know you must be feel like you're getting old now that you're sixty, but I just want you to know that you've always been old to me..." HA AHAHAHAHA... ah... ::wipes tears from her eyes:: And then I made fun of how he dresses. You could really feel the love in the room.
My favorite toast was probably my mom's though, since it managed to be sweet while still containing some of the vitriol of her 22-year-old grudge against her ex-husband. Now that's class.
Oh, wait, there were actual things that might be of interest to other people that I wanted to share here. First is a zombie love comic by Chester Brown, future member of the Canadian parliament. I think it hits all the right notes, especially the sad and disbelieving way the zombie and the heroine keep repeating the line "But--he's/I'm a zombie!" like some character in a John Hughes movie might sigh, "But--he's a nerd!"
This next and last item is NSFW... not because of any actual pornographic content (although that's debatable, really) but because you will laugh so hard that people will actually come out of their adjoining offices to give you strange looks. I wasn't reading superhero comics in the 90's, but apparently that was the heyday of Rob Liefeld who made millions of dollars drawing appallingly bad comics. I think this countdown of The 40 Worst Drawings of Rob Liefeld, accompanied by some of the bitterest commentary I've ever read, can and ought to be appreciated by everyone.
Ten minutes until lunchtime. Oh man, being an adult is SO MUCH FUN.
In honor of my dad, I'm going to do something that my dad always does which is tell a slightly boring story that ends with me saying something that made people laugh, even if it isn't as funny in the recounting. The point of the story being that I can be hilarious, even if my telling this story seems somehow to disprove that.
Anyway, on route to the party my mom warned me that I may have to give a toast. I'm not exactly shy but I'm still not a fan of public speaking. Happily, after a few vodka and cranberry mixers I had overcome my fear and picked up the microphone following the least-funny toast of the evening (it's all about timing--thanks Grandma Lucille!) and delivered a short roast that began with, "Well, Dad, I know you must be feel like you're getting old now that you're sixty, but I just want you to know that you've always been old to me..." HA AHAHAHAHA... ah... ::wipes tears from her eyes:: And then I made fun of how he dresses. You could really feel the love in the room.
My favorite toast was probably my mom's though, since it managed to be sweet while still containing some of the vitriol of her 22-year-old grudge against her ex-husband. Now that's class.
Oh, wait, there were actual things that might be of interest to other people that I wanted to share here. First is a zombie love comic by Chester Brown, future member of the Canadian parliament. I think it hits all the right notes, especially the sad and disbelieving way the zombie and the heroine keep repeating the line "But--he's/I'm a zombie!" like some character in a John Hughes movie might sigh, "But--he's a nerd!"
This next and last item is NSFW... not because of any actual pornographic content (although that's debatable, really) but because you will laugh so hard that people will actually come out of their adjoining offices to give you strange looks. I wasn't reading superhero comics in the 90's, but apparently that was the heyday of Rob Liefeld who made millions of dollars drawing appallingly bad comics. I think this countdown of The 40 Worst Drawings of Rob Liefeld, accompanied by some of the bitterest commentary I've ever read, can and ought to be appreciated by everyone.
Ten minutes until lunchtime. Oh man, being an adult is SO MUCH FUN.